Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
