Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
