so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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