suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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