I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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