YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
