Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
