How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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