Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You need Xanax blowdarts
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
