Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I have fence marks all over my body
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
