so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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