how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
