Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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