she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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