Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize