i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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