just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
