Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
