And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
