I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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