Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Randomize
