Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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