when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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