She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize