can u get pink eye on your cock?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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