U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
