Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You are the jesus of drinking
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
