saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
