Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
