I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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