did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
