Your dad touched me again.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
