Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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