Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
