So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
