I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
