Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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