Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
