Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He felt like a one man threesome
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
