doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
