I want to walk on stilts...naked
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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