i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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