How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
