just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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