when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize