I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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