Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
