I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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