i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
