I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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