Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
