OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
There are leaves in my underwear?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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