toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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