i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?