the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
