I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
