she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
