Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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