Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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