well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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