dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
