i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
