All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
