i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
