first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
