I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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