Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
