she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
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She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
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Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Everyone says I win the strip club
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize