Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
