god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
