I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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