I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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