You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
