Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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