As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
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He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
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when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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