:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
