I hope mine doesn't look like that
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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