your room smells of hookers.
And success
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
